A word on victim-blaming.

(Trigger warning for rape.)

A confession:

I almost forgot International Women’s Day.

I mean, I didn’t forget; it’s more that I was aware that it was coming up and had mulled over ideas for a blog post, and then I forgot about that, and so I was sat at home at 9:30pm going “Damn, I don’t actually know what to write except for ‘Hooray for women.’”

Then I realised I’d kind of got it into my head that today was the only day I could make a post for the sole purpose of celebrating women, which of course isn’t true. I know certain people think even this one day is too much (“But when is International Men’s Day?”), but when I think of all the women I admire, it is if only for practical reasons nowhere near enough.

Today, I’m in awe of a woman who’s continued campaigning for the education of Pakistani girls after surviving an attempt on her life, and who recently became the youngest ever Nobel Peace Prize nominee at the age of fifteen. I’m in awe of women who hear your cries of “Women aren’t funny!” and are laughing in your face. I’m in awe of a politician who could probably get elected US president in her sleep, of a writer whose female characters are role models for young girls everywhere, and of actresses who challenge casual sexism. I’m in awe of feminists who speak out on the Internet and get enough hate that you’d think they were drowning puppies on camera, but who carry on because they are watching their point being proven over and over again. I’m in awe of the nine-year-old future queen of the silver screen and a singer who has taken the world by storm. I’m in awe of a fictional press secretary who could easily plan world domination as her next career move. (It’s not too late for a spin-off, NBC; give me Who Run The World? CJ Cregg and all will be forgiven.) I’m in awe of my mother and my sister and my best friend.

This is a tiny, tiny fraction of women I admire, and I still kind of wish I’d taken the time to show my appreciation for them with a longer blog post that made a really well thought out point. On the other hand, perhaps the only point that matters is this: I admired them yesterday, and I will admire them tomorrow, and when International Women’s Day rolls around again, I’ll be adding to that list.

Let’s have a little more “sisters before misters” in fiction, please.

As with almost everything, when it comes to fictionalising friendship, our society hugely favours men.

Seriously. You can’t move for films and TV shows about men and their friendships with other men, while most female characters exist to be the love interests or mothers of male characters. When talking about platonic relationships, fandom uses “bromance” and “BroTP” (a play on “OTP” or “One True Pairing”, used to refer to romantic or would-be romantic relationships) as catchall expressions and doesn’t question the lack of female or gender-neutral equivalents. The Bechdel Test is a simple way of assessing female presence in a work—all it has to do to pass is to have two or more named female characters who talk to each other about something other than a man. A small percentage of fiction manages this, and when it does these two female friends are often ready to throw away their friendship as soon as a (usually man-related) conflict comes up.

Sometimes, though, you come upon a fictional friendship between women where they love and support each other unconditionally. You’ll know this phenomenon when you see it because it’s almost as though the writers have looked at a genuine friendship between two women in real life, rather than assuming women to be the shallow, catty stereotypes the media portrays them as. If you’re struggling to find such a thing, you could turn to Parks and Recreation, a sitcom from the creators of the US version of The Office about the antics of local government employees in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana. Smart, original and genuinely funny, Parks values the relationship between main character Leslie and her best friend Ann as highly as any male friendship, and this is exemplified in the most recent episode. Spoilers under the cut.